"I'm going to shave my legs!!!" I wrote. "I figure, hell, if I hate it, I just won't do it again. Besides, I'll keep the underarm fur. But I have a bit of a problem: I don't have a clue how to shave. So I'm asking the chickies on my e-mail list for advice. What, exactly, do I need to buy? How much do I need to spend? Do I shave up or down? Just water, or soap and water? How many boxes of Band-Aids should I buy? Won't somebody help this poor frump in her first attempt at contrived femininity?"

- from A Girlie Tale by M. Parfitt


Illustration by Dorian Katz.